Music taste is subjective. The job of a music reviewer is not to tell the audience that a given album is bad, but to clue them in on certain code words that may pique their interest. Record sales, the label an artist is on, who produced the album, even YouTube view counts—these things matter far less than the answer to a simple yes-no question: do you, the listener, like what you are listening to? Could you learn to like it if you haven’t heard it? Does the album have redeeming qualities to you?
I’m sure the 3,900 people who bought Oakland rapper Natasha Zolot, AKA KREAYSHAWN’s album, Somethin ‘Bout Kreay, could answer these questions with a definitive “yes,” but I’m not so sure I can. I’m also not so sure Columbia Records, the label that signed KREAYSHAWN and released Somethin ‘Bout Kreay, could either.
I could talk a lot about how I think the album is as close to objectively bad as you’re going to get, but that’s already been done, and honestly I’m not too keen on ruining this person’s day any more than it’s already been ruined.
Because, you see, while the album is as close to objectively bad as you’re going to get—it’s extremely repetitive (see “Blasé Blasé,” or alternately, “Gucci Gucci”), boring and kind of embarrassing to listen to—it isn’t Zolot’s fault that her “hit single,” 2011’s aforementioned “Gucci Gucci,” garnered so much attention via YouTube views from terribly ironic hipsters. It isn’t her fault that some hard-up A&R person at Columbia watched the video, saw the view count, and saw dollar signs where there evidently weren’t any. And it definitely isn’t her fault that her throngs of so-called “fans” didn’t rush out and buy her album when it came out.
Whose fault is it, then? Why does Zolot have to be the performer that broke the model? Why is it that it’s perfectly acceptable for Columbia Records and its ilk to push crap on us, but completely unacceptable that Zolot sold fewer albums upon release than any other artist on a major label?
When you’ve got labels scrambling so hard to find the next big thing that they go for gimmick artists, they should expect some egg on their faces at some point. Just from watching the video, it’s clear Zolot wasn’t really trying to do anything except have some fun being ridiculous on camera, and for some reason Columbia saw something else there.
Yes, Somethin ‘Bout Kreay is bad—worse than bad. But it’s also instructive. In the future, Columbia Records: do some vetting. Make sure that smash hit YouTube song isn’t actually being watched for laughs by mid-20s mustache-toting faux-anachronists. Better yet, do what you used to do: go to shows. Watch bands. Find what’s actually good out there. Don’t rely on Internet hype.
For what it’s worth, this album received a 2/10 from me. But I hope KREAYSHAWN continues to do what she wants.